- You and your Spouse/Partner
- Mrs. Chithra Jha
I: What is my relationship with my spouse/partner?
I AM: Your spouse/partner reflects your sub-personality. The personality that is hiding behind the mask of who you think you are. Your spouse is reflecting this personality back to you so that you can’t hide it anymore. You see it is a perfect system that you have created to ‘know’ yourself.
I: Then why does my spouse irritate me so much?
I AM: This question is the answer to your own question! What is it about your spouse that irritates you the most? That is exactly what you are denying in yourself. That is an aspect of your sub-personality. Your spouse is just revealing it to you. You see, it is all about YOU! Your spouse is just a vehicle of expression. Whatever annoys you the most in him/her is what you need to pay attention to and own it! You may not find that trait in you very easily. You may have to dig deep, but it is there. Look for it.
I: My partner drinks a lot. I do not like it at all, in fact it bugs me no end. I do not touch alcohol, how do you think he is reflecting my sub-personality?
I AM: Pay close attention to yourself. What is it that you are ‘addicted’ to? What do you do in excess? Is it shopping; reading; eating? What is it? Look deep, you will find it.
I: My wife is not faithful to me, while I have always been faithful to her.
I AM: You might have been faithful to her, but are you faithful to yourself. Do you love yourself? If you can’t love yourself, how do you expect your wife to love you? Husband-wife relationship is one of the most important relationships as it reflects our hidden personality. It is much easier to look out than look within; that is why these relationships have been created in the first place. This is a perfect design chosen by you to ‘know’ yourself! Ask yourself, where in your life have you been cheating? Have you cheated in business; in examination; in life? Where do you cheat yourself? What is being reflected back to you?
I: You mean to say that my spouse is a magnifying mirror of my own faults?
I AM: It is not only about your faults or flaws as you see them; whatever you admire about your spouse is also a reflection of your sub-personality. It is something that you do not acknowledge in yourself. Whatever it is that you suppress in yourself, gets magnified in your spouse. It is as simple as that.
I: Why does it have to be magnified? It makes them so ugly.
I AM: If these suppressed aspects were not magnified, you would have again ignored them. Once they are magnified, they are in your face. You can no longer ignore them. The best thing to do is to own them, accept them, and assimilate them. You see, this whole arrangement is there for your growth; for your evolution.
I: My husband beats me up. How is that helping me? I AM: Again, look with in. In which area of your life do you abuse power? Look for this flaw. You will find it. Unless you acknowledge and correct this flaw, you will keep attracting abuse.
I: More and more people are indulging in extra-marital affairs these days. Why has this incidence increased? I AM: People think that by changing partners they will change their outer reality, but it doesn’t happen that way. Until you change your sub-conscious personality, you will keep attracting the same kind of partners. You need to change from inside for others in your experience to change!
I: My husband and I keep fighting everyday. How can I change things?
I AM: You have to look for the conflict within you, in order to find peace in your relationship. You may not find the answers immediately; but keep looking for them. Ask yourself; are you at peace with who you are? Do you love yourself? How much time do you give to yourself? Do you really care for yourself?
I: You mean to say that my marriage is my ticket to enlightenment?
I AM: Your marriage is an important step on the Path. Pay full attention to everything about your marriage. You are the creator of your joys and your sorrows. You have chosen your partner for your growth. Yes, you may even get enlightened if you just pay enough attention to your marriage!
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