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Tamil Software
அழகி மென்பொருள்
  
Tamil-English bilingual webmagazine dedicated to education of the masses through E-books, articles, worldwide informations, Slideshows,
Presentations on various subjects, photographs and images, moral and objective oriented stories and Lectures including audio and video

If Kejriwal becomes CEO of Microsoft !!

Courtesy: AVR, Chennai

If Kejriwal becomes CEO of Microsoft!

Amusing Things Thatll Happen If Arvind Kejriwal Is Made The CEO Of Microsoft

Recently, Indian born Satya Nadella was promoted to the post of CEO of Microsoft. While both traditional and social media are abuzz with debates, consequences, factors, pride and puns, we join the bandwagon with a slightly hypothetical route:

What if, instead of Satya Nadella, aam aadmi Arvind Kejriwal was made the CEO of Microsoft?

These 15 disasters will strike Windows users worldwide.

1. Office Assistant will wear a muffler

Remember the cute little paper-clip floating around office documents? It cant stay naked in Dilli ki sardi, muffler zaroori hai.

2. Kejriwal will sit on dharnas to protest against Adobe Reader updates that show up everyday

Adobe, if youre listening, were sick of updating Adobe Reader every time we turn on the computer. So we support Kejriwal on this one. Dharna All Night

3. Therell be donate buttons on Internet Explorer

This is simple: if you want to continue browsing, donate first. Or you can buy tickets to our next dharna.

4. Microsoft Antivirus will stop scanning at 40%, coz Kejriwal is a true Engineer. 40 matlab pass.

Every true engineer will appreciate the fact that 40 matlab pass. Kejriwal is no exception to this universal rule. Even in Delhi elections, he scored a clear 40% (28/70 seats). So theres no point scanning for viruses after 40%.

5. Microsoft Logo will be changed

This one is fairly logical. The gaps between the 4 blocks of the logo are meant to hold jhadoos (brooms). Utility over Dikhawa (Appearance). Also Kejriwal is against improper allocation of Real Estate.

6. Windows wont let you install Antivirus

Coz Kejriwal doesnt want security.

7. Hell hold World Upgrade Darbars to determine whether to upgrade Windows or not

Therell be Upgrade Darbars in every mahulla in every city in the world. The consensus of people will be taken before deciding on the upgrade decision. Yes, coz its so feasible. Power to the people.

8. Somnath Bharti will be appointed the Head of Support Team. Hell crash into your home without invitation and fix your PC.

Somnath Bharti is a workaholic. His only prerogative in life is to make sure your Windows dont crash and it runs smoothly. Hell go to any length to protect you. (Psst. He might even intrude your privacy. But its for your own good pagle)

9. Almost 99% of Indians will be behind bars.

Piracy, bitch!

10. Skype will be renamed as AAP Connect

Kejriwals feet are on the ground(Zameen-Pe), so he cant tolerate a name like Sky- Pe. So itll be renamed to AAP Connect.

(p.s. The AAP Connect video has been removed from YouTube for reasons unknown)

11. Youll get a free muffler to keep your PC safe

Instead of Antivirus, youll get a muffler. Dont ask why.

12. User will have to file RTI to know cricket scores

Kejriwal is so honest that he is paranoid about believing anything the media claims. So Windows will have an inbuilt feature to file an RTI to know cricket scores. Ingenious!

13. Windows will come only in one common version: Windows Mango

Everyone should be treated equal. Nuff said.

14. MS PowerPoint will be renamed as MS WeakPoint, coz Power CORRUPTS

Everything related to power and enterprise culture wont be tolerated. Power corrupts, so MS WeakPoint.

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