- Live-in relationships breaking up
Live-in relationships breaking up at a rapid rate in Bangalore and the The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage
How would the training community analyse this trend, I would ask. Should we risk being different or go with the trend.
I guess *All* modern systems, without exception including the much vaunted science and technology (and others such as financial system, health care, agriculture, educational all are fundamentally flawed and has no long term sustainability like the below one which is fast gaining ground in India.
"Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect" -- NYT The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage
Live-in relationships breaking up at a rapid rate in Bangalore
M K Madhusoodan, TNN | Aug 5, 2013
To get a house on rent, live-in couples tell landlords they are married.
BANGALORE: This technology hub is witnessing a sharp rise in cases of discord in live-in relationships. Most cases reported are those of people working in the software and BPO industries.
"The number of cases of break-up in live-in relationships was 30 during 2011-12. This rose to 42 between April 2012 and March 2013. With an average of six cases reported every month, the number is expected to double this year," says Rani Shetty, chief coordinator with Mahila Sahaya Vani, a family counselling centre attached to city police.
Most live-in couples are in the 25-35 age group. To get accommodation, they declare themselves a married couple. Counsellors say such relationships are for financial and social security. Things fall apart when the boy refuses to tie the knot.
Most live-in couples are from outside Karnataka. They find it convenient to live with someone from their own place. Things fall apart when the boy refuses to marry the girl. Only one case — that ofKeshava and Arundhati (names changed) — was different. They lived together and had three children. The kids' school records and passports have the name of Keshava as father. But the marriage had not been solemnized as Keshava's parents refused to part with their property if he married Arundhati, says BS Saraswathi, senior counsellor.
To get a house on rent, live-in couples tell landlords they are married. "They live like husband and wife, but their relationship has no legal sanction. When there is a break-up, we refer it to police as a case of cheating," says Aparna Poonesh, a counsellor at the Sahaya Vani. "It's for social and financial security. Nearly 60% of the cases referred to us revolve around sex," says Shetty. Most cases brought to the Sahaya Vani are from the corporate world. "They get to know each other mostly through social media, and share the same language and culture. With their peer groups away, they have individual choices and freedom," she adds.
"Youngsters should be made aware of the problems of living together," says Shetty. "As the relationship doesn't have legal sanction, they need to be careful. Most cases brought to our notice are of women complaining that the men they had lived with refused to marry them."
Marriage dream shattered
Runa (name changed), 27, an employee of a software multinational in the US, was attracted to Bangalore while chatting online with Biswajit (name changed).
As the friendship grew, Biswajit, 30, invited her to the city and promised to find her a job. She quit her job and flew to Bangalore three years ago. After living at a paying guest accommodation for a while, she joined Biswajit, who had taken a house on rent declaring himself and Runa husband and wife.
Runa landed a job. Things went smoothly till Biswajit's parents starting asking him to get married.
One day, Biswajit suddenly disappeared. Runa learnt that he had gone to look for a bride.
On his return, they had an argument. Biswajit manhandled Runa, leading her to the Sahaya Vani. A case of cheating was registered after Biswajit refused, at the counselling sessions, to marry Runa.
Once having hoped the relationship would eventually lead to marriage, Runa is inconsolable today.
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