- Indian Marriages
Expectations of a Wife and Mother
Courtesy: Sanjeev Sharma, TRAINERS FORUM
Indian Marriages: A Choice between Wife and Mother
Getting married is a stage in one's life, where two people decide to be together for the rest of their life and share their time, emotions and feelings. Decision can be taken either by the concerned couple, on its own or they decide to be together by the wishes and choice of their respective parents. The end result in both the cases is that you are accepting a new person in your life and by doing so you are trying to "change" the pattern of your life. We all know that "Change" of any kind has always been resisted and it require very high level of "maturity", "Understanding" and "adjustment". Many times, many people fail to address this issue and hence end-up with very high level of stress, resulting in burn-outs, violence and some health related issues. In this article, we will be reading about the position, situation, role, expectations and challenges of a Husband.
Expectations of a Mother
1. A mother is the one who gave you life and carried you in her womb for nine long months.
2. She was the one who understood your needs, wants and expectations, when you were not even able to speak.
3. She fought for you and defended you all the time, even when you were wrong. She was your first teacher.
4. She taught you lessons, which you would not have learned on your own or in any university of the world.
5. She fought with her husband, when you were in need of money.
6. She woke-up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for you and to pack the lunch for you. She always made sure that you eat on time.
7. She never slept on nights when you were sick, she just sat beside you.
8. She was your first friend.
9. When you were sad, hurt and in pain, she listened to you and motivated you...gave you hope.
10. You shared your emotions, feelings, experiences with her, without any hesitation and she always listened to you and never complained. She listened to you, even then when she was not even able to understand as what you are saying... but she never let you know that.
She did all this and many more things for you without complaining.
Expectations of a Wife
Just like what your mother has done for you and has gone for you; even the mother of your wife has also gone through the same. She too has same feeling, emotions and attachment for her mother as you have for yours. Her mother also feels in the same way as your mother feels for you. But then, there is a difference. She has left that house, that comfort, that attachment to walk with you for rest of her life; to make your Home. She is linked to your house and family through you. It is for you and because of you that she is there in this home which was yours, all these days.
Always remember, what you promised her at the time of marriage. This is an important ritual in Hindu Marriages and it is very significant. It goes like this:
"The Bridegroom gets up from his seat holding his bride's right hand. He then goes around the Holy Fire (Agni) from the right side, by lifting his bride's right feet at each step. This is done for seven steps. With each step, he recites a mantra addresses to the bride. (This is also called as Sapta-Padi or Saat Pharey)
These are the seven vows which are exchanged.
1. The first for food,
2. The second for strength,
3. The third for prosperity,
4. The fourth for wisdom,
5. The fifth for progeny,
6. The sixth for health and
7. The seventh for friendship
Solution and Conclusion
Get married only then when you think that you are "prepared" to take new responsibilities; when you are ready for "Change" in your life. Don't marry, just because "people around you wants" to get married. For others, including your parents, relatives and friends, your marriage is a function but for you its "Life Long Commitment"; don't make any commitment, if you are not very sure of fulfilling it.
Mother should ask her son to treat his wife in the manner as she wants her son-in-law to treat her own daughter (s). Wife should ask her husband to treat his mother in the same manner as she wants her brother to treat their mother.
It is easy to say but I treat families and relations like this; for example, I have one son and one daughter. Once they get married, I will be having two sons and two daughters.
Your life is nothing but a choice that you make. These are my thoughts and views; you might or might not accept and agree with the solution and conclusion.
Kindly give your feedback and share your opinion.
Take good care if yourself.
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