- Draupadai and her five husbands
Draupadi, in Mahabharat did not get to choose her husband. She got her husband Arjun because of the archery contest and to her shock she had to treat all the five brothers as the husband on the order of the mother in law Kunti who ordered her sons to share equally whatever they have brought.
To her credit inspite of five Pandavas having the distinct personality, strengths and weakness , she managed to leverage their strengths to her advantage.
To think we cannot handle one spouse, but Draupadi handled all of them with aplomb and poise and all on them inspite of having multiple wives of their own were devoted to her and accorded her the exalted status.
Yudhishthir was just, had a correct sense of morality, and was merciful to surrendering foes.
Bhim was very emotional and those that offended him never survived to live. He never forgot a foe. On some pretext or other he used to wreaked his vengeance.
Arjun was the greatest of archers, intelligent, "with senses under complete control. Neither lust nor fear nor anger could make him forsake virtue. Though capable of withstanding any foeman, he would never commit an act of cruelty.
Nakul, was the most handsome person in the whole world. An accomplished swordsman, he was also versed in every question of morality and profit and endued with high wisdom. He was unflinchingly devoted to his brothers, who in turn regarded him as more valuable than their own lives.
Finally, Sahadev was the youngest of the brothers, and like the others formidable in war and observant of morality. Heroic, intelligent, wise and ever wrathful, there was not another man equal unto him in intelligence or in eloquence amid assemblies of the wise.
In real life also we have to deal with distinct personalities both in personal or professional life. The spouse has a different personality, the boss might have another, the colleague a different and a key customer a different one.
If you behaved in the same way with each of them, it will result in disaster.
That is the mistake which most of us do and then wonder what has gone wrong or feel victimized.
We need to flex our style and use it in different ways and like Draupadi who made sure that she never allowed the other brothers to visit when she was with one of them, we should be secretive about our relationship, Most of the people after working hard and enjoying the trust and confidence of their Bosses /critical people plot their own downfall by bragging .
The need is to maintain a low profile and get the required work done
The key here is to understand their personality /strengths and leverage them to obtain the goal whether it is building or nurturing the relationship which is critical in a family or meeting the business goal in case of bosses , colleagues ,suppliers or customers. It is not manipulation but the deep insight.
These deeper insights are equally important when there is a change (in bosses, organization etc.). Sometimes people when enjoying the trust of one person behave in the same manner and apply the same strategies when another person occupies the same position.
Remember the fracas, the satraps of erstwhile TATA group like Modi or Ajit Kelkar had when Ratan Tata took over from JRD TaTa. They continued the same old style of functioning refusing to acknowledge that the era of JRD data has gone and a new person Ratan Tata with his own distinct style has taken over.
The other example is how Greg Chappel the former Indian coach messed it up by failing to recognize Indian way of doing things,. His strategy was impeccable and today his strategies and fundamentals of stress on youth/rotation of the player /different teams for test and one day has become the gospel but without any fuss and bluster of the Chappel era.
Today if there is one guy who have understood this principle a little bit and is hailed as a great leader is Dhoni . He understands both his team players and the competitors equally well and thus has been able to leverage their strengths /weakness and motivation to great successes
Inspired from anarticle by Dr. Devdutt Patnaik-Draupadi and five bosses.
Designed and maintained by AKR Consultants